Monday, December 26, 2011

Heck Family Christmas: A Post By Katie

     Hey everyone! Abby, as in Always Abby Noel, has asked me to do a guest post so here I am! If you have not read some of the past posts, then you should probably know that my family is...well...special. Most of the time they are alright, but when you have all 15 of us in one house, it's one interesting Christmas.

     My last name has a lot to do with the events of my Christmas. You see, I have a hyphenated last name. My mother was a Heck, and my father was a last name I won't tell you so that I will not get kidnapped (sorry I just saw the movie Taken..) and when they got married, they decided to combine their names instead of just choosing one like normal people in hopes of one day, they could give their child a 30 letter name and make her spend hours filling her name in on a stupid test scan tron. Thanks mom and dad.

Anyways, both the Hecks, and the (let's just call them Smiths) Smiths are quite interesting people. The Hecks are red necks, like hardcore rednecks. And the Smiths are the EXACT opposite. They are stuck up and own like 3 houses. Most of the time we spend Christmas with each family on different days, but the Smiths were traveling, so we combined them. The Hecks are fun on Christmas, and so are the Smiths, but put them together and it becomes a different word for Heck...

The entire family arrived two days before Christmas and everything seemed to be working out fine. Then at around 4:45 Christmas morn, everything changed. It became a Christmas we would never forget.

At 4:45 am, my almost 20 year old brother woke everyone up and proclaimed that Santa had arrived at our house. In the process of opening presents, some dirty looks were exchanged. Mainly when my 7 year old cousin received an iPhone 4s and a 3-D DS. Everyone on that side of the family was thrilled, but the Hecks glared at them. The Hecks think that the only gifts given should be total necessities and so my uncle got three different types of hunting bows as well as propane. Just Imagine wrapping that. My mom has the maturity level of an 8 year old, so she gave my brother and I Zuh-Zuh pets. He was actually really pumped and called his roommate to brag later on.

We had planned to eat dinner at about 7 pm so my uncle on the Heck side put the ham in the roaster at 4 pm so it would be done at 7 on the dot. Well at 6:45 when he checked it, it was still frozen. As it turns out, you are supposed to turn the roaster on. Who would've guessed? Well because it was so late, we microwaved pieces of the ham. Apparently when you microwave ham, it shrinks and becomes really tough. Causing it to be inedible. We had frozen pizza kits as our Christmas dinner.

Then of course there was the savage fight in the backyard between two of my Heck cousins. They are brothers and one commented on the other's girlfriend's unfortunate looking face and fought in the backyard for about 10 minutes before their father spilt them up. Brotherly Love at it's finest.

All left this morning, but to my surprise, they all agreed to meet up next year.

The Smith-Hecks (my brother, my parents and me) are just ecstatic.

Katie Smith-Heck
(Don't Google that, it's not my real last name)


Salinna said...

Bahhaa Katie(:

Fiona said...

This was really funny! Do you have a blog?

Katie said...

No I tried but I can never have posts that are less than four months apart :)

darth-abbey said...

please tell me you've seen the movie Christmas Vacation???? Sounds exactly like this! lol

Kaite said...

No I haven't but I'll most deffinately look it up!

Design by Small Bird Studios | All Rights Reserved